Saturday, April 16, 2005

Childish Games to Play on Co-Workers

I was surfing around and found this website which give ideas for blogging. Great thing for me after a mind-numbing day of work at the video store.

Speaking of work...there are advantages to having a team comprised of people in their late teens/early 20's. One of these advantages is that you can keep yourself amused by the childish games they play on each other.

Some of my favorite pranks.....

1) New employee asks to use the restroom. As the manager on duty, you are to look at partner with a very serious face and use the condescending corporate tone of voice as you say "John, I am not paying you to take care of your bodily functions. Perhaps you should have gone at home before work. Now you are just going to have to wait until your allowed break time. Company policy you know." As the humbled employee turns to complete the rest of his work, the rest of the staff should bust out laughing. Although the employee has been humiliated for no reason other than being polite, you are now aware that he will listen to your instructions. In fact, he may be the next partner in line to sell his soul for the organization - if he shows up tomorrow.

2. Find a job that has a shrinkwrap machine. Nothing is more amusing then watching someone go back to the office to find all of his/her personal belongings shrinkwrapped. Of course, it may piss them off...but really, what does it matter? At least the rest of the workers got enjoyment at the expense of someone else.

3. You can further exploit company resources if you are employed by an establishment that utilizes a sensor tag system. The best way I have seen this done is in creating a new name tag for an employee. You just take one of the sensor tags and place it inconspicuously onto the name tag. Then, when the employee leaves for the day remind them to exit through the sensor system. As the buzzer goes off, you go through the procedures by the book. Well, by your book anyway. I usually make people call this one off when they start talking about a strip search.

4. At one of my stores our exterior ashtray was filled with colored gravel. I kept myself entertained for a good hour one day as the more tenured staff members told the anal-retentive new employee that the ashtray needed to be set to company standards. Yes, he spent a lot of time taking the rainbow colored gravel and setting it neatly into rows of like colors.

And probably the best one yet....

5. Have you ever had the new manager that just couldn't fit in? You know, whose personality was never going to mesh with rest of the staff - someone has to let him know it is not going to work out. This is a step by step process- pay attention.
  1. Make sure that he keeps all of his keys on the same ring.
  2. Ask to use his key for some purpose (in our case it was to use the restroom)
  3. While he is distracted, you slip his car key off of the ring.
  4. Return to him his keys.
  5. Find a reason to go outside (smoking is what we used) and then move his car. (Note - it is good to have an accomplice keeping him occupied during this step.) Park the car in a place that is not visible to the anyone inside or immediately outside of the store/office.
  6. Return to the store/office and find another reason to borrow his keys again (bad Mexican food?)
  7. Go about your business - deny everything.

The employees ended this prank when the manager was picking up the phone to call the police. This is a terrible, cruel prank that shouldn't be played on anyone, anywhere. We laughed for years over it.

Oh, there are more out there. However, I think it is time to stop blogging before I find myself in legal trouble........

Disclaimer: The above pranks are not condoned by the author. The author may or may not find any humor in the above events. The author does not intend the publication of the above events to be seen as encouraging such abhorrent behavior. Names have been omitted to protect the author from lawsuits. Readers have the right to perceive the author as insensitive or cruel. Author reserves the right to play pranks on readers who feel such....


At 8:56 PM, Blogger Jen said...

You're bad!


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