Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Love me tender....

This is a little more serious than my typical blog....no fart references (stop crying....I will do some fart blogging later.) I just want to share with you a situation and see what you think.

I want to tell you about Jessica. I want to start her story from when she was 12 years old. Like most 12 year olds, she felt like she was a "woman" and was more than ready to be treated like an adult. She felt quite capable of deciding what was best for her.

Way back in the second grade, when she was just a kid, she befriended a teacher. She maintained contact with Mr. Jones throughout the years, and eventually ended up back in his class at her oh-so-mature 12 years old. She realized her feelings for him extended way beyond friendship, and a time came where it was obvious he reciprocated the feeling. In a night of incredible passion, Jessica ended up making love to him, like the adults do, and felt as though she were truly a grown woman. These encounters repeated frequently, and she felt so good being in love. Jacob routinely confessed his love for her as well, yet stressed the importance of secrecy as "other people" may not understand their very special relationship.

The secret was exposed, however, when she ended up pregnant. Scandal rocked the small community in which they lived, and her love was found guilty of raping a child and sent to prison. He is warned not to make contact with her, and her family vows to protect the child from this terrible man. She didn't completely know what to do - she was in love, but confused. Jessica felt brainwashed, but wasn't sure by who. Then he is released on parole a few years later. At the sweet age of 16 she felt more than capable of making her own choices, and she resumed the relationship. Jessica would sneak away with him to a secluded spot, and share an intimate encounter. However, they were once again discovered and off to prison Jacob goes again. Shortly afterwards, she discovers that she is once again pregnant, and gives birth to another child.

Time goes by, and the community around her slowly recovers from the shockwave that began before Jessica was a teenager. But it won't last as Jacob finishes his sentence and is released. The judge imposed an order not allowing him to communicate with her, but Jessica successfully fights to have it removed. They are finally married, set to live happily ever after. The wedding is a huge fanfare - attended by an agency with exclusive rights. A reporter talks her up, shows off her dress, remarks about how in love this couple is. There are routine interviews with Jacob, who states that the age difference of more than 20 years has no bearing on their relationship, he is truly in love with Jessica. He still does not believe that it was wrong to sleep with her when he was 33 and she was 12 - there was nothing indecent. There was only love.

As you may have guessed the above story is slightly inaccurate. First of all, "Jessica" was not a little girl, she was a little boy named Vili Fualaau. The teacher was Mary Kay Letourneau.

What is true is that they had two children together, they were wed this month in a highly guarded ceremony, and they both say that they are truly in love.

What is also true is that Vili Fualaau and his mother filed a civil suit against the Highline School District and the Des Moines Police Department because they "didn't do enough" to stop the relationship between Fualaau and his teacher/lover. Mary Kay Letourneau spent 7 1/2 years in prison after pleading guilty to two counts of statutory rape. She even spent 6 months in solitary confinement for refusing to abide by the courts no-contact order.

Furthermore, a lot of people have profited off of their relationship. for example:

Un seul crime, l'amour (Only one crime, Love) by Mary Kay and Vili Fualaau
If Loving You Is Wrong, by Gregg Olsen
The Mary Kay Letourneau Affair by James Robinson
The Mary Kay Letourneau Story: All American Girl,a 2000 TV movie
Mary Kay Latourneau: Forbidden Desire, a Court TV documentary
"Mary Kay Letourneau: The E! True Hollywood Story,"an E! THS episode
"Mary Kay Letourneau: Out of Bounds," an A&E Biography episode
A new book Mass With Mary: The Prison Years by Christina Dress, with Mary Kay Letourneau was released in July 2004. It was written by three of Letourneau's fellow inmates.

Info obtained at http://www.nationmaster.com/encyclopedia/Mary-Kay-Letourneau

And let's not forget that exclusive media coverage of the wedding was given to "Entertainment Tonight'' and "The Insider,'' who I am sure had (sarcasm warning) *no* financial interest in publicizing the marriage of a sex-offender to her victim. (For those interested, the shows did lose some sponsors over the move.)

I have really been thinking a lot about this situation, and I admit that my opinion is greatly affected by the fact that I am the mother of two boys. I am also a little sick to my stomach because I have always been under the impression that teachers are to protect the children when they are at school, not violate them. I think of the victims in this case, Steve Letourneau, Mary Kay and Steve's children, Vili Fualaau, and the two little girls Mary and Vili brought into this world. I think of lost innocence, and the increased trepidation felt by parents every day as they send their kids off to school. I think of having the "talk" with my own children much sooner that I thought I needed too. I am forced to rethink my position regarding sex education in schools. I think about parents considering every consequence of every action they take towards their children much more carefully, fearing that it may cause the child to feel "unloved" or "unappreciated" and drive them to accept the attention from those who don't maintain their best interests.

The law knows the difference between child molestation and true love, and the law used it in the case of Mary Kay. However, I am not so sure society does - I don't believe the Entertainment Tonight producers do. Or maybe they just don't care. Exclusive rights to the Letourneau-Fualaau will probably get them great ratings and some nice cash. (sarcasm warning #2) Lord knows when you are owned by Viacom you can always use more money. I just wonder if the same decision would have been made if it were teacher Jacob Jones marrying little Jessica.

Glutton, eh?

Thanks to Julie for this....I just HAD to know :)

You scored as Posion. Your death will be by poison, probably because you are a glutton and are around so many people that it would be easy to get away with it.

How Will You Die??
created with QuizFarm.com

Sunday, May 22, 2005

A Three Meme!

Thanks to Jen for "tagging" me with this!

3 names I go by:
Heather, Mom, and Boss-Lady

3 screen-names I've had:
angelmommy, hvsmgr, and heather676

physical things I like about myself:
Eyes, Personality, Boobs

3 physical things I dislike about myself:
Fat Stomach, Fat Thighs, and my yucky teeth

3 parts of my heritage:
German, Irish, and Welsh (did I spell that right?)

3 things I am wearing right now:
Glasses, Rings, Shirt

3 favorite bands / musical artists:
Third Day, Bon Jovi, Queen

3 favorite songs:
Total Eclipse of the Heart, Bohemian Rhapsody, The Offering

3 things I want in a relationship:
Love, Trust, and good "adult" time :) (trying to keep it PG)

3 physical things about the preferred sex other people that appeal to me: Smile, Eyes, Strong Arms

3 of my favorite hobbies:

Reading, Writing, Pogo

3 things I want to do really badly right now:
Have a date, Have my house cleaned, get cool

3 things that scare me:
Losing a another child, losing my husband, financial uncertainty

3 of my everyday essentials:
Coffee, Medication, Coffee

3 careers you have considered or are considering:
Cardiologist, District Manager, Public Defender

3 places you want to go on vacation:
Alaska, Cairo, Indonesia

3 kids' names you like:
Gabriella, Ronnie, Clayton

3 things you want to do before you die:
Write a book, Have more children, Visit Egypt

3 ways I am stereotypically a boy:
I go to sleep right away after "adult time", I don't cook or clean, I have a foul mouth

3 ways I am stereotypically a chick:
I love to go shopping, I gossip, and I have BAD PMS

3 celeb crushes:
Harrison Ford, Robert Deniro, and Kevin Spacey

3 people to play next:
I don't know anyone else who blogs that hasn't been tagged already, so if you do this because of my blog, leave a comment!!!!

The Republican Nominee is....Darth Vader!

Just an interesting article discussing the political satire that may exist within Star Wars - since we are all on the craze I thought I would share.

Saturday, May 21, 2005

The Silent Suffering

I have been having a terrible week mentally and physically. I know that I have probably offended a lot of people and that I haven't been doing my "normal" thing. I am very lucky to have some great friends and family, but there are others who know me who may not quite understand why I am acting the way I am.

There are two pieces I want to blog today to share and help others understand what it is like to live with a chronic pain condition, sleeping disorder, or anything which disrupts your life on a daily basis. The first one I would like to share is The Spoon Theory. I am not going to print that here because I do not have permission to do so, but please take the time to follow the link. The second one is from the Fibrohugs Site and is called a Letter to Normals.

The Letter To Normals

Hello Family, Friends, and Anyone Wishing to Know Me,
Allow me to begin by thanking you for taking the time out of your day to spend some time with me and get to know me better. A person’s time is their most valuable asset and yours is appreciated.

I want to talk to you about Fibromyalgia (FM) and Chronic Myofascial Pain Syndrome (MPS). Many have never
heard of these conditions and for those who have, many are misinformed. And because of this judgments are made that may not be correct… So I ask you to keep an open mind as I try to explain who I am and how FM/MPS has assaulted not only
my life but those whom I love as well.
You see, I suffer from a disease that you cannot see; a disease that there is no cure for and that keeps the medical community baffled at how to treat and battle this demon, who’s attacks are
relentless. My pain works silently, stealing my joy and replacing it with tears.
On the outside we look alike you and I; you wont see my scars as you would a person who, say, had suffered a car accident. You wont see my pain in the way you would a person undergoing chemo for cancer; however, my pain is just as real
and just as debilitating. And in many ways my pain may be more destructive because people can’t see it and do not understand....
Please don’t get angry at my seemingly lack of interest in doing things; I punish myself enough I assure you. My tears are shed many times when no one is around. My embarrassment
is covered by a joke or laughter, but inside I want to die....
Most of my "friends" are gone; even members of my own family have abandoned me. I have been accused of "playing games" for another’s sympathy. I have been called unreliable because I am forced to cancel plans I made at the last minute because the burning and pain in my legs or arms is so intense I cannot put my clothes on and I am left in my tears as I miss out on yet another activity I used to love and once participated in with enthusiasm.
I feel like a child at times... Just the other day I put the sour cream I bought at the store in the pantry, on the shelf, instead of in the refrigerator; by the time I noticed it, it had spoiled.
When I talk to people, many times I lose my train of thought in mid sentence or forget the simplest word needed to explain or describe something. Please try to understand how it feels to have another go behind me in my home to make sure the
stove is off after I cook an occasional meal. Please try to understand how it feels to “lose” the laundry, only to find it in the stove instead of the dryer.
As I try to maintain my dignity the Demon assaults me at every turn. Please try to understand…. Sleep, when I do get some, is restless and I wake often because of the pain the sheets have on my legs or because I twitch uncontrollably. I walk through many of my days in a daze with the Fibro-fog laughing at me as I stumble and grasp for clarity.
And just because I can do a thing one day, that doesn’t mean I will be able to do the same thing the next day or next week. I may be able to take that walk after dinner on a warm July evening; the next day or even the in the next hour I may not be able to walk to the fridge to get a cold drink because my muscles have begun to cramp and lock up or spasm uncontrollably. And there are those who say “but you did that yesterday!” “What is your problem today?” The hurt I experience at those words scars me so deeply that I have let my family down again; and still they don’t understand….
On a brighter side I want you to know that I still have my
sense of humor. If you take the time to spend with me you will see that. I love to tell that joke to make another’s face light up and smile at my wit. I love my kids and grandbabies and shine when they give me my hugs or ask me to fix their
favorite toy. I am fun to be with if you will spend the time with me on my own playing field; is this too much to ask? I love you and want nothing more than to be a part of your life. And I have found that I can be a strong friend in many ways. Do you have a dream? I am your friend, your supporter and many times I
will be the one to do the research for your latest project; many times I will be your biggest fan and the world will know how proud I am at your accomplishments and how honored I am to have you in my life.
So you see, you and I are not that much different. I too have hopes, dreams, goals… and this demon…. Do you have an unseen demon that assaults you and no one else can see? Have you had to fight a fight that crushes you and brings you to your knees? I will be by your side, win or lose, I promise you that; I will be there in ways that I can. I will give all I can as I can, I promise you that. But I have to do this thing my way. Please understand that I am in such a fight myself and I know that I have
little hope of a cure or effective treatments, at least right now. Please understand….
Thank you for spending your time with me today. I hope we can
work through this thing, you and I. Please understand that I am just like you…
Please understand….
Copyright of www.fibrohugs.com Written by Ronald J. Waller

Saturday's Shampoo

Saturday's Shampoo
May 21, 2005

Lather: Tell about one time you laughed so hard you couldn't breathe. Who were you with? What were you laughing about?

About a year, year and a half ago I was attending a Store Director meeting in Denver. We were discussing the details of our current contest, and the competition was getting biting. I was currently first in the contest, and another Store Director, Eric, was second. While talking trash, I very loudly said, in front of everyone, "Eric, I hope you like it underneath me, because I am going to stay on top of you for the next 6 weeks." Yes, you could have heard a pin drop. And then we all burst out laughing....to this day I have not lived that down. *sigh*

Rinse: What's the last book you couldn't put down? Why?

It is pretty easy for me to get "stuck" in a book. In fact, one of the reasons I don't read more is that once I start a book I can't put it down until I am finished. Some of my favorite books are the Louis McMaster-Bujold "Miles" books (Start with Shards of Honor) and the Left Behind series. But I am in a fibro fog and can't remember the last one I read...

Repeat: What website, blog, online game, etc have you spent the most time on this week? Share the URL with the rest of us!

I have spent the most time at Fox News. Sad, isn't it?

Friday, May 20, 2005

The Conclusion of a Saga

I got off work tonight and had a craving for some family time. I think I might have needed to take more medication, because my thought was to go down to the theater and find out if we could see Star Wars, Episode III tonight.

We arrived around 5:15pand there were about 6 people in line ahead of us. I left the rest of my family in line and went inside to purchase tickets. Lo and Behold - we were able to get in to the next showing which was at 6:50p. The nice young man who sold me my tickets advised me to start waiting in line ASAP as the show would sell out and to get seats all together we would want to be early.

So we waited. And waited. And waited some more. And then we were let in.

Yes, we got the best seats in the house. It was amazing! The screen was huge (the largest in Wyoming) and the sound system was the best in the region.

The movie was amazing. It was very dark and VERY scary, but for those of us who have watched Star Wars grow up the past two decades, it was a real treat to watch it all come together. Yes, it is still Star Wars, so the dialogue isn't the best and the acting can leave something to be desired at times, but it was FUN. We had a great time.

I suppose other writers would give you a more detailed review, but not this one. I figure that people fall into one of two categories. A) You have seen the first five and of COURSE you are going to see the sixth one or B) You never "got" the whole Star Wars craze and could care less. Therefore, a review is pretty pointless.

But this movie was the end, and with the exceptions of a few excursions to Burger King to keep up on the collecting, as well as raiding the "Star Wars Aisle" at our local wal-mart, I fear we will be forced to find some other thing to entertain us for the next 20 years. But watch the movie, have fun, and may the force be with you.

Friday, May 13, 2005

Where's My Weenie???????

If you think you have too much free time, think about the writers for Fox News!

Thursday, May 12, 2005

What to get him on Father's Day

These aren't mine - they were forwarded on to me in an email. But to save YOUR inbox from getting cluttered, I have decided to post them here. Enjoy!

Buying a Gift for Him

Rule #1:
When in doubt, buy him a cordless drill. It doesn't matter
if he already has one. I have a friend who owns 17, and he
has yet to complain. As a man, you can never have too many
cordless drills. No one really knows why.

Rule #2:
If you can't afford a cordless drill, buy him anything with
the word 'ratchet' or 'socket' in it. Men love saying those
two words. Example: 'Hey, George, can I borrow your
half-inch ratchet?' 'OK. By the way, are you through with
my 3/8-socket yet?' Again, no one knows why.

Rule #3:
If you're really, really broke, buy him anything for his car.
A 99-cent ice scraper, a can of fuel additive, or mini-compass
to hang from his rearview mirror. Men love gifts for their
cars. No one knows why.

Rule #4:
Do not buy men socks. Do not buy men ties. And never buy him
scented soaps. Ever!

Rule #5:
Buy men new remote controls to replace the ones they've
worn out. If you have a lot of money, buy your man a
big-screen TV with the little picture in the corner. Watch
him go wild as he flips, and flips, and flips.

Rule #6:
Do not buy a man any of those fancy liqueurs. If you do, it
will sit in a cupboard for 23 years. Real men drink whiskey
or beer (sometimes both at the same time!)

Rule #7:
Do not buy men shoes or boots. Unlike women, the average
real man owns only 2 or 3 pairs of shoes and boots, will
wear them until they literally rot away and is perfectly
happy. No one knows why.

Rule #8:
Buy men label makers. It's almost as good as cordless drills.
Within a couple of weeks there will be labels everywhere.
'Sockets', 'Washers', 'Screw Clamps', 'Drill Bits', 'On',
'Off', '220v', 'Door','Refrigerator', etc. You get the idea.
Again, No one knows why.

Rule #9:
Never buy a man anything with 'Some Assembly Required' or
'Instructions Inside' on the box. It will ruin his Special
Day and he will always have parts left over.

Rule #10:
Good places to shop for men include sporting goods stores,
lumber yards, Home Depot, John Deere, Valley RV Center, and
tire stores. (NAPA Auto Parts and Sears Clearance Centers
are also excellent stores for men's stuff. It really doesn't
matter if he doesn't know exactly what it is. 'From NAPA, eh?
Must be something I need. Hey! Isn't this a starter solenoid
for a '68 Ford Fairlane? Wow! Thanks!')

Rule #11:
Men crave danger. That's why they never cook but they will
barbecue. Get him a monster barbecue with a 100-pound
propane tank. Tell him the gas line leaks. Oh, the thrill...
the challenge! 'Who wants a hamburger?'

Rule #12:
Tickets to a Buffalo Bills game or a box of ammo for his
favorite rifle are smart gifts. However, he simply won't
appreciate tickets to 'A Retrospective of 19th-Century Quilts.'
Everyone knows why.

Rule #13:
Men love chain saws. Never, ever buy a man you love a chain saw.
If you don't know why, please refer to Rule #8 and what happens
when he gets a label maker.

Rule #14:
It's hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminum
extension ladder. Never buy a real man a stepladder. It must
be an extension ladder. No one knows why.

Rule #15:
Rope. Men love rope. It takes them back to frontier days,
or at least the Boy Scouts. Nothing says love like a full
spool of 3/8' nylon or manila rope.

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Star Wars

After taking the Jedi Test (Jen and I are linked somehow - I was Mace Windu also) I got inspired to share one of my favorite atom films.

I love reality TV - particularly "The Apprentice" (go Tana!) This short movie combines my reality tv craving with Star Wars - slice of heaven!

It can take a bit to download depending on your computer, and I believe the film is 10-12 minutes long. But honestly, it was worth the wait for me!

BTW - if you haven't watched atom films before, they are kind of cheesy. I like them because I appreciate the creativity! If your humour is really warped, check out Anakin Dynamite.

Monday, May 09, 2005

101 in 1001

Jen shared this idea on her blog and I thought it was absolutely fantastic.

Now, coming up with 101 things I want to do in just 1001 days was not as easy as I thought it would be. But I managed to do it. I may revise it as time goes on, who knows. But for now, here it is. Enjoy!

Saturday, May 07, 2005

Saturday's Shampoo

What word bothers you the most when other people mispronounce or misspell it?

I think it would have to be "espresso." Notice - there is no "x" in the word! Coffee snob that I am - this one drives me bonkers.

Rinse: What are some euphemisms you use or have used for "flatulence?"

OK - so normally I just say "fart." When we were kids, we "tooted." Sometimes, I have referred to it as a "present" for either hubby or kids. Now that I am bordering the edge of embarrassment.....

Repeat: Where have you wasted the most time on the internet this week? Give up the URL!

Not a lot of surfing this week - but I did waste some of my valuable time here.

Friday, May 06, 2005

My Peanut's Character

Wishy-Washy: 37%, Mental: 50%, Physical: 50%
Perhaps the world's most uncoordinated bird, Woodstock is Snoopy's best friend, activity partner and occasional secretary. With his erratic flight patterns, he has trouble avoiding anything roughly between him and his destination and usually spends the winter holed up in Snoopy's kennel. Be extra careful playing baseball or football, as sports become a lot more challenging when the ball is six times bigger than you are.

Friday's Feast

Name a store or restaurant you no longer visit because of a bad experience you had there.
I won't go to Red Lobster anymore - there food is not worth the money you are paying for it and there staff is overworked and not able to give the service you deserve when paying $25/plate for a meal.

If you could own any building in existence, which one would you want?

The Smithsonian Museum.....I would share it with everyone though!

What's your favorite commercial these days?

The one with the "game show" and the guy keeps answering the questions with "Arby's" answers. Don't know why - it just cracks me up!

Main Course
When was the last time you felt guilty about spending money, and what was it you purchased?

OOH - this happens to me all the time. Anytime I spend money on anything I feel guilty - probably the last time was when I bought clothes.

Friday's Feast is going to be having it's First Birthday in 2 weeks. What should we do to celebrate?

I have no idea what you could do to celebrate - but CONGRATULATIONS!!! 1 year is AWESOME!

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Reasons for Love

On November 13, 1998, I vividly remember sitting in the living room of my dreaded townhouse with my dear son Clayton and explaining to this 2 1/2 year old wonder how his "Daddy" had left and now we were on our own.

Now I had called Ron that very same day and explained to him my plight. Obviously, we soon found ourselves in a romantic relationship and shortly after Thanksgiving we moved in together. Yeah, we were patient :)

Ron is an amazing man. It is not easy to care for a woman who has been divorced and lost a child within two months. It is even more difficult when it is me. Ron took care of me when my mental state was completely out of whack - when I had incredible panic attacks, wild mood swings, and a whole bunch of other stuff I can't even recollect now. Even when I am a total (you know the word) and forgetting to control my mouth, he forgives me.

It is not easy being married to me! Somehow, Ron seems to enjoy it....(I think *he* might need a checkup!) He treats me like a queen - he cooks for me, does most of the cleaning, irons my clothes, and just about anything else I need help with. When I am sick or having a fibromyalgia flare up, Ron looks almost as upset as I do. He is genuinely frustrated when he can't make me better. I think a lot of times he cares more about my welfare than his own.

He truly supports me in whatever I do. The reason I can take a job that requires us to move *somewhere* in *a few months or so* is because Ron allows me to work toward my goals.

He doesn't threaten me, either. Even in our largest fights (which are few and far between) where I am trying to get him to be *mad* at me, he has never raised a hand or threatened me with divorce, taking the children, or any of the other horrible things I have heard of.

He doesnt' try to change me. He knows that I am a strong, independent woman, and that is ok with him.

He is a magnificent father. Clayton and Ronnie think their Dad hung the moon and the stars. He loves those boys so very much. We often give up a lot of "mommy and daddy" time because the boys will want to watch a movie with Dad at bedtime.

He is a great homeschooling parent. He teaches the boys about so much that I know very little about. I love hearing Clayton rattle off the latest military information Dad gave him.

Most of all, Ron has a huge heart. He cares so much about his family - I know he would do anything for us. He has a great sense of humor and I know he gets a kick out of making other people laugh. His huge smile, his loving eyes, and his heart of gold are the reasons I *have* made it through some pretty horrible times.

I love him, and I am proud to call him my husband.

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Personality Test

I was pissed off at the dice thing so I had to find my own :)

Heather, you're a Skydiver!

You're open minded, extroverted, free-spirited, and independent. Chances are you're pretty liberal. You're like a magnet for love and affection. People adore you. And, thanks to that healthy dose of self-confidence, you're super-flexible. Chances are, you're a great leader at work. You're also a self-starter and will always volunteer to take on a job. You're also an excellent communicator and tend to spread your enthusiasm to others.And that's just scratching the surface!

That's me - except for the liberal thing :)

Monday, May 02, 2005

And the geek goes marching on

Thanks to Jen for yet another fun quiz!

I am a d8

Take the quiz at dicepool.com

You have to read the description I got:

No use trying to fight it, you're an eight-sided die, a d8. A fine example
of simple elegance, the d8 is one of the least appreciated types of dice, and is
often neglected. You are known to be quiet and shy, outward traits that conceal
viscous sarcasm and mean wit. You are very smart, yet wise enough to hide your
intelligence the quicker they found out how smart you are, the sooner they'll
put you to work, which is something you can do without. People call you dark and
pessimistic, or moody and cynical. You find little point in arguing.

I have taken the liberty of putting in red italics those items which I think *particularly* apply to me....

Anyone's coke through the nose yet?